5:50am – Alarm goes off. What is happening? What day is it? Where do I have to be right now? Did I sleep last night? Sure doesn’t feel like it…
5:52am – *Strapping on heart rate monitor* I need coffee in my system right. now.
6:03am – Grab french press out of the fridge, mix it with some almond mix and stevia, and pound it back with half a banana sloppily slathered in PB.
6:12am – Work bag? Check. Gym bag? Check. Garbage bag? Check. Third arm? I need one of those on garbage days…
6:22am – Briefly smile at the girl working the desk at the gym. She wonders if I’m a crazy person for working out everyday at such an ungodly hour. I wonder if she’s a crazy person for taking a job that has her working at such an ungodly hour.
6:29am – Favourite center-driven elliptical is occupied by the grunting man. Opt for a rear-driven one instead. Start my warm-up.
6:34am – First sprint is always a shock to the system.
6:45am – Heart rate breaks the 170 barrier for the first time this workout. Yesssss!
6:50am – Wish my iPod had one of those beep-y things that portable phones do. Then it would be with me at the gym and not in my apartment… somewhere…
7:05am – Try to row away the DOMS in my back on the rowing machine. Only works when actually rowing.
7:15am – Only 10 minutes on the stepmill. Only 10 minutes.
7:20am – Only 5 minutes left on the stepmill. Just 5 minutes.
7:22am – I’m not gonna make it.
7:25am – I am so sorry legs.
7:28am – I WANT TO LIVE IN PIGEON POSE.
7:49am – Having short hair cuts my shower time down SO much.
8:15am – I have microwave oats, but the door to the room with the microwave is locked. Sneak upstairs to use my bosses’, but I am spotted. Yes, I am cooking brown goop. So what??
8:25am – Chocolate-protein-banana-PB oats just don’t cut it anymore. Where’s my custard oats!?
8:35am – Get called to a meeting. Crap! I’m not done feeding the hunger beast!
9:00am – Start what is becoming a ritual of answering and sending e-mails that usually lasts the whole morning.
10:13am – Even though I’m not hungry, I must break up the monotony of e-mailing. Dig into my bag for a healthy-ish bar.
They kinda taste vegetable-y, but I like it. Plus, you can never go wrong with a chocolate coating ;)
11:04am – The usual lunch posse are all busy today. Anticipate finally cracking open my Google Reader for lunch.
12:10pm – Break down and dig into my lunch bag.
Tofurkey, hummus and tzatzkiki pita.
A very battered bartlett pear. I kinda like ‘em super ripe like this!
12:57pm – Run downstairs for the first of many university events today. A lecture and performance by a traditional folk singer.
1:22pm – I need more Irish folk music in my life.
2:52pm – Rush back up to my office to eat some grapes and cottage cheese while answering a co-worker’s fitness question (I’m getting so many of these now from friends and family – I love it!)
3:50pm – Rush off to lecture #2 called “What We Talk About When We Talk About Art.”
4:10pm – What I was expecting to be a boring lecture turns out to be hilarious, delivered by a witty and observant British man wearing a black turtleneck.
4:56pm – Rush off to my next event. Pause briefly at a cookie tray set up in the foyer. Keep walking.
5:28pm – Listen to novelist and Giller Prize winner David Adams Richards speak. Intense.
5:55pm – Breeze through apartment door, borderline hangry. Immediately reach for some corn cereal. Nosnackingwhat??
6:12pm – Sit down to supper.
Steamed green beans and red potatoes topped with leftover spicy yves ground round/black bean mix with tomato sauce added to it.
6:27pm – Defeat. Giant plate of food wins. I am. So. Full. How was I so hungry a mere 30 minutes ago??
7:35pm – Rush back to campus to meet coworkers for the Oedipus Rex play. Why am I always rushing? Leaving to go somewhere at a normal speed must be possible…
8:11pm – What on God’s green earth are they saying??
8:33pm – Dude. No. She’s your mom.
9:30pm – Well, that was a cheery way to end the evening.
9:43pm – Get a massive nose bleed for the first time in years. Freak out and Google “Am I dying of cancer?”
10:01pm – Bleeding starts to subside, the fullness of supper long gone. A protein cake sounds like the perfect bedtime snack.
10:16pm – Realize that I have to admit I wrote the majority of this post around 6:45 and am only updating it now.
10:20pm – Hit publish
10:22pm – Obsessively proof read post for spelling and grammatical errors
1024pm – Breakfast, snacks and lunch for tomorrow
10:45pm – Pass out on my pillow, dreaming of Friday morning’s Jillian Michaels workout and another Friday night spent in my peejays reading blogs and watching MTV…
Question of the Day: What are your Friday night plans? Gonna paint the town red or join me in your fuzzy slippers? :P
Thank you sosososo much for the supportive comments on my last post! Sometimes I wish I could be this wonderful role model. A fun blogger who has their shit together, eats well all the time, has a perfectly fit bod, etc, etc. Well, I’m not. No one is. In fact, I would say my shit has officially hit the fan :P
But! I’m pulling myself back together. I’ve been very vague about how much I struggled this past fall. It got to the point where I dreaded getting out of bed everyday and broke down crying regularly. My mother suggested I go to counselling, instead, I quit my job. My life has been cah-razy ever since. Piecing myself back together has proved to be a very long process. One of self-discovery, that’s for sure.
So yes, during this period of time, I gained weight. To be honest, I didn’t have the strength in me not to. Yes, I’ve lost the “balance” I named my blog after. But that’s why I chose to theme my blog around balance in the first place. It’s something I, and many other people, struggle with. I stumbled, I lost my balance, and it’s time to get back on both my feet again.
It’s not all about losing weight and looking like a personal trainer. It’s about taking steps that make me feel like me again. Setting fitness goals (one of my fave things to do!!), eating foods that make me feel good, and finding that lust for life I once possessed.
When I quit my job as a radio reporter in November, I was broke and worn out. My life looked like nothing but a “coulda-woulda-shoulda.” In three short months I’ve stumbled into my current job which I love. Made the decision to pursue my passion for fitness and work in the field. Realized I’m a writer at heart. Opened my mind to possibilities outside of the borders I created. And took the leap to focus on my dreams and go after them. By myself. With the influence of no one.
So once again, I completely spill my guts on my “healthy living” blog. Damn. I suck at not being honest!
I must say though, despite all this, my Monday got off to a fabulous start :D
Was up and at ‘em for the 6am RPM spin class. Yes, the same one I’ve failed to go to for the past three weeks. I finally forced myself to bed early on a Sunday night and made it. SO WORTH IT!!! Next Sunday night, I’m coming back to read this post. I must always remind myself that every Monday should start with a few brutal hill climbs ;)
Since I was away this weekend, I didn’t do my usual Sunday food prep. So this beast of a bar was breakfast:
Peanut Butter Clif Builder’s bar. Eaten at my desk.
I didn’t care for the builder’s bar that much. Albeit, it was half frozen from sitting in my car. Oddly, I didn’t like it because it tasted too much like a candy bar. Which is fine for a snack, but not for a meal.
It was at least filling. I didn’t dig in to my morning snack till later…
Applesauce + coconut chia granola + raisins + kashi blackberry cereal bar. Granola in applesauce is good!!
My plastic lunch…
Tuna pita and baby carrots. Looks like a boring lunch but it was soooo good. I’m always super quiet at our lunch get-togethers at work because I’m always stuffing my face ;)
Mango + cottage cheese. So weird to eat mangoes in the dead of winter, but they were on sale!
Dinner was a spicy concoction featuring my first ever run-in with chipotle!
Yes, I’ve never cooked with chipotle before. I added it to yves Mexican ground round, black beans, onions, green pepper, jalepeno, hot sauce and a dash of chili powder. All cooked up in a pan together to create one mega-spicy blend.
Usually sour cream would be used to soften the blow, but I didn’t have any. And Greek yogurt doesn’t exist in Canada. So I dug around and decided cottage cheese would make for a decent dairy topper. It was delicious!!! It added a creamy cheesiness that was to die for. Now I want to try cottage cheese tacos :)
Oh, and there may have been dessert…
Well, I think I’ve rambled enough for one evening. Tonight was my only full night off this week (I’m working late every other night this week). Instead of being productive, I laid in bed and caught up on my MTV watching. I dunno about you, but I think that’s balance right there ;)
Question of the Day: What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but been to scared to? I’ve always wanted to spend a year in Scotland. I’ve been dreaming about it since I was in high school but am still frightened by the idea. My mom’s family is from there, so I grew up hearing about it. Someday I’ll get the courage and do it. If anything, I promised Ellie I would!! :P