Riddled With Guilt
My mom and I were talking this weekend about the things we feel guilty about not doing. We are a guilt ridden family. Of course, we are also a family of women.
My mom has a big, beautiful backyard that just screams for a vegetable garden. She really wants to be able to eat fresh vegetables from her backyard, she just doesn’t want to do the work of gardening to get them.
I on the other hand, had just come from a failed running attempt. For the first time in my life, I stopped a run partway through. After 5 minutes of jogging I thought “I don’t really feel like doing this right now,” so I stopped, turned around, and walked home.
We sat there together in our joint feelings of guilt, discussing how silly it is that we feel guilty about not doing things we don’t even want to do!
My mother, being of an age where physicality doesn’t come as easily as it once did, and me with an arm that only “half works,” talked about how we now pick and choose the activities we think are worth the effort.
We both agreed that keeping a clean kitchen and bathroom are 100% necessary and worth the effort. We both agreed that some form of physical activity must be done. But we both also agreed that we shouldn’t waste our time doing the small things we don’t want to do just because we feel like it’s expected of us.
I don’t have to run if I’m not feeling it just because it’s a nice day out. I decide on when I run, not the weatherman.
And just because my mother has a nice backyard, doesn’t mean she needs to plant things if she doesn’t like gardening.
What a waste of emotional energy to feel so guilty about these things.
In the end, we went for a long walk. I enjoyed the weather walking way more than I would have running. My mom is still on the fence with gardening, but we’ll get that sorted out. Maybe a potted garden that doesn’t require so much physical work? If you’ve got ideas – leave ‘em below!
For such an otherwise uneventful weekend, I feel like I came out of it having learned a lot of lessons.