Just Being Honest
I’m thinking of turning “Fitness Friday” into “Move It Monday.” Thoughts? I like the idea of starting the week off with some workout inspiration. Plus, I’m too wiped at the end of the week to write in-depth posts.
I know I’ve been heavy on the injury talk lately. But today is what we’ll chalk up to as “bad day.”
Went to the hospital for more x-rays. They looked fine. I got my dozen or so stitches out. Caught a glimpse of my gnarly fracture blister – it’s the size and colour of a purple grape on my elbow. Then the doctor started asking me to move my arm around. Twisting my wrist barely happened. When he asked me to straighten my arm it went a couple inches then just stopped. It hurt, yes. But the joint was so stiff it just refused to move.
It made me realize just how long it’s going to take to get my arm back. It won’t get magically better when the cast is off. In fact, it will get lot worse. It will be painful. Physiotherapy is going to be painful (and expensive).
I’m two weeks out of surgery and the day-to-day of having only one functioning arm is catching up with me. I don’t care about weight lifting, or running, or cycling. I just want my arm back.
It hurt so much moving my arm that I immediately started to feel faint sitting on the hospital bed. Remnants of the pain have stayed with me all day.
The worst part of recovery is that it’s a very passive experience. I can’t actively do anything to help it along. All I can do is wait. It’s hard not being able to control that. I would really like to be in control of my life right now instead of being in this weird purgatory of sorts.
Today I cried. I called my mommy. I ate chocolate and made some tea.
I can’t be strong and positive everyday.
I did however leave with a new cast! One that leaves my wrist free. A blessing and a curse. I can do more, but the extra mobility allows my wrist to twist in directions that send shooting pains through my elbow.
Tomorrow I’ll find something to smile about again. Promise :)
Oh. And I quit both my jobs today. More on that later.