The Most Important Goal of All

Oh goals. I set them every month. Sometimes I do fabulous. But lately? Errrm not so much. I set a handful at the beginning of the month. Here, 30 days later, I haven’t accomplished any of them.

  1. I didn’t do a very good job of “cleaning up my diet.” Whatever that means. But I did eat some of the best food of my life in California!
  2. I didn’t run outside four times. I did it three times. The last one was cold, windy and downright miserable. I’ve been on the treadmill ever since.
  3. My room is a disaster. Why I thought I could keep it clean for the first time in my life is beyond me.
  4. Days off? What are those? :P
  5. I did have tons of fun, but the work/life balance thing still needs, um, work.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do for December. It will be a crazy month with half of it spent back home in the Maritimes. Not to mention the family, old friends, food, booze and shenanigans that come with the holidays!

It would be easy to set goals like “one sweet a day,” or “drink lots of water,” or “work out 5 times a week.” But those just don’t feel important to me anymore. Focusing on these little things no longer feel like the best thing for my well-being.

So instead, I am entering the month of December with one important goal. One that will take a lot concentrated effort to accomplish. Something I will have to nag myself about several times daily, but also help me end the month feeling like I’ve done a lot to better myself.

For me, December will be all about ending fat talk.

This is where the confession comes in. I’ve gotten really bad about fat talk lately. Ever since I fell victim to the Toronto Ten, I rarely look myself in the mirror and think good things. Thoughts cross my mind that I wouldn’t in a million years think of uttering to other people. And yet somehow, I think I can get away with saying them to myself. Insecurities about “looking the part” of a personal trainer, being single, and a healthy living blogger.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you get back what you put out into the world. I’ve been a Negative Nancy for too long now. I am living the exact life I carved out for myself when I first started daydreaming about moving to Toronto. I don’t want to let my hurtful thoughts get in the way of that.

December is an easy time to fall victim to fat talk. I’m sure we’ve all eaten one holiday cookie too many, then told ourselves we’re fat and useless after. I don’t want to spend my holidays doing that. I want to feel good about my body again and put some positive energy out there! I will look in the mirror and notice all the beautiful things about myself.

So this month, I am putting an end to all that fat talk. One goal that I am driven to achieve. One goal that will affect my life more than keeping my room clean (although my mother may beg to differ). One goal I hope you can join me in achieving :)

When you look in the mirror this month, say a few good things to yourself. Your spirit will thank you.


Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends!


Posted on December 1, 2010, in Goals and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 48 Comments.

  1. thats so true unless we luv ourself we cant luv others ;-)

  2. Good post :) And very true. I am not the best at achieving little goals I set for myself either, maybe for like 2 weeks, then I forget about them.

  3. One word: Awesome!

    OK I lied: Three more words: Cool head band! :-)

    I’ll try to join you in this endeavor. My whole exercise world has been upside down so I’m feeling lucky just to hold my own right now. I’m in unchartered territory and for some reason I’ve been not as hard on myself as I would usually be. Perhaps it’s because I feel kinda sorry for myself being unable to work out. hee.

    Great goal- here’s to December!

  4. That’s a great goal. Negative self talk is so damaging, and everyone seems to do it at some point. It’s so important to take notice of it and try to shift our thoughts.

  5. I know exactly what you mean. I’m not always happy with what I see in the mirror but that can always change. My attitude is going to be the more impactful change, though. We are wonderful, incredible, SEXY women and damn it all if we don’t deserve to believe it!

  6. A to the Men. Isn’t it amazing that we can have fantastic months but still be down on ourselves because our pants don’t fit exactly like we want them to? My eating schedule has been all over the place with my new job and I’m trying to cut myself a little slack while I get things figured out. Because really? I’m worried about what I’m eating when I have a job that I LOVE in a new city that I adore and I get to travel to lots of cool places? Yeah, focusing on the good.

  7. Great goal, especially for the holidays. I feel like its so easy to fall victim to feeling bad about yourself this time of year, due to the weather and holiday food, when in reality its supposed to be a time of happiness and enjoyment. I’m trying this month to enjoy every day for what it is instead of getting down about myself if I eat too much cookie dough.

  8. I love a goal that makes you feel better, one that is focused on mental wellness and acceptance. You are a ridiculously smart lady, Susan! I don’t want to spend my holidays feeling guilty, either.

  9. Susan, you couldn’t have mad a better or more important goal. Negative self image affects your very core. Just pushing those thoughts out of your mind (especially because you are no where near fat…I mean have you looked at me lately?…see you aren’t the only one that needs to work on that!) will improve your life ten-fold. Share with us any little tricks that you learn to keep positive.

  10. Sus thanks for this post and great goal! I wanted to say two things:
    – What is Christmas without pleasure? Why fly all that way not to enjoy the best of sharing good food with family and friends? Of course let’s not overdue it but I wait all year for the opportunity to down a tin of spinach dip and eat too many rumballs with you. As long as your weight is staying in a healthy range, ideal be damned!

    – Not sure if you remember all the weight I gained in Germany? Ummm…30 lbs in like 8 months? When I first started gaining I would look in the mirror and berade myself. At first I tried to watch what I was eating but it was so hard to turn down new experiences for the sake of a few pounds…I was only going to be in Germany a year so after the first month I just let go of obsessing about my weight and just indulged. I wanted to go out to eat with people and socialize, and I wanted to try every bit of new food around me! Now…13 years later, I have never been back to Germany and have never sampled many of those foods since I am just so happy I did- The weight fell off easily within months of coming back to Canada, and I have wonderful memories – of cheese, plum cake, pastries, and memories of conversations and adventures around all of them! Plus, looking back I now think I was still as cute as can be with 30 more lbs on me and so I don’t even know what I was worried about!!

    Yes it is important to maintain a healthy weight and to be good to your body because you only get one body for your whole life’s worth of living. But I hope you can learn to wear those extra pounds of ‘living’ with pride – because from what I see these life experiences are making you a more beautiful woman. Incredible given that you’ve been a knock-out as long as I’m known you :), but true!!

  11. That’s a great goal. I do okay with not fat talking, but I need to stop fat thinking !

  12. susan this is a GREAT post!

    things feel very trivial that I read about in the sphere. I have a whole life that I dont blog about that is real life adult grown up sh*t and some of the goals I read are laughable. Not to make fun of the people, but it’s sooooo wayyyyy down there on the life list. And I loved reading you say you find certain things trivial too

    And i love that you are practicing self love, acceptance, and compassion. God bless! I love this!!!

  13. Thank you for a great post! And just what I needed to hear these days. I’ve followed your blog for awhile now but have never commented until now. I’m gonna follow your lead and make that my December goal too! Oh, and I love your headband! :-)

  14. Fab goal! I think I need to get on this train! x x

  15. Good post Susan! Of all months, I think December is one where pressure should be kept as low as possible – don’t expect so much of yourself and just enjoy it (I’m telling myself the same thing!!) I think yours is a great goal. I have a feeling you’ll definitely achieve this one! :)

  16. I say, so what if you didn’t complete your November goals? Life got in the way. Plus, you brought out SUCH a wonderful, fabulous, amazing goal for December! Such a great idea. Good luck with it!!

    P.S. When are we doing our pre-xmas meetup?!? :D

  17. self love acceptance and LOVING YOURSELF….just htink you are the only person like you on this entire earth and you should embrace it, be thankful every single day. Youare strong, beautiful and independent and I think you have set out for a great goal!! and you will DEFINATELY accomplish it!!!! have a great day my training buddy :)

  18. That sounds like a great goal! And I’m with you that its more important to focus solely on one important thing, than a bunch of little ones. I’m sure you will keep the balance with the other little goal ideas you mentioned too.

  19. I have a had time too, not ‘delving’ into the fat talk. It’s all too easy to start degrading yourself, especially this time of year. Thanks for the post. :-)

  20. Love this idea for a December goal! I try so hard not to say/think those things about myself so every time I shower, I look in the mirror and try to find a new quality/feature that I LOVE no matter how small it may be (i.e. I like my knees/ankles/hands etc).

    One BIG thing for me was buying new clothes in bigger sizes. I’m no longer a small anymore and adding a couple inches on my jeans size does not DEFINE me in any way. In fact, I’m not as self conscious now and as a result – less fat talk.

    Good luck with your goal, it’s a great one!

  21. As a PT myself, I can relate to wanting to “look the part” all of the time. We are human though and are entitled to not be so hard on ourselves. I am my own worst critic. It is good that you realized the negative nancy and are trying to work on positive thoughts!

  22. Zen habit posted a wonderful post on goal setting
    Give yourself some slack, and seriously, move to California!

  23. I think I’m going to do the same, try to end the fat talk, and get a bit of that fat in me :D

  24. What a great goal! Look at where you are! You dreamed of being here. You’re helping others, living the big city life, and being fabulous while doing it:)
    …and who hasn’t packed a few holiday pounds? My jeans were a wee bit tougher to pull on this morning ;)

  25. Ending Fat Talk has always been on my “To Do” list but I just don’t know HOW!

    • Start by thinking something positive about yourself every time you glance in the mirror (which is a lot over the course of the day!). I find that’s a moment where I can always remember to do it. It’s a good way to start small :)

  26. Amen sister. That is all.

    I spent too much time letting negative self talk or fat talk ruin what otherwise would’ve been beautiful moments. No more.

  27. That’s a great goal to set! There are many things that I don’t love about my body, but I’ve learned to accept them and honestly, I don’t put myself down anymore. For things that can be changed you/we have time to change them, and there is no point in worrying about things that can not be changed, so why bother? I think we should all just aim to be the best version of ourselves (and I’m referring more to being a good person than to just looks) … Good luck with accomplishing your goal! :)

  28. Best goal. I too want to end my fat talk I’ve been having lately. I don’t know how much weight I’ve gained this year, but let’s just say all the jeans are a little TIGHT. I don’t want it to affect my self-esteem the way it has been…

  29. you are so right! negative talk about yourself just keeps the cycle going, i’ve found. i’m trying to make sure i have that kid/teen mindset. you know, when baking christmas cookies is the most fun experience ever, rather than something to feel guilty about. good luck with this goal — i think it’s one we should all keep in mind!

  30. I love the idea of really focusing on one goal. With all your efforts I think you’ll do great! Plus it’s a meaningful goal.

  31. Thumbs up to that goal :)

    I know that when I talk down to myself, I end up being more likely to get stuck in other negative behaviours…and when I look in the mirror and think STRONG and HEALTHY I am more likely to engage in positive activities!

    Wishing you a wonderful, joy-filled December!

  32. Thanks for your honesty and for making me think with this goal.

  33. Susan, I wish I could give you a hug. For so many years I hated my fat and felt like a failure even though I excelled at other things in life. I was not able to keep weight off until I learned to speak kindly to myself. What a difference that made!

    I know I don’t have to tell you, but the outside really doesn’t matter. There are plenty of people who look “ideal” and yet talk to themselves in fat talk (or whatever negative self talk it is).

    I see blogs out there where people talk to themselves in a way they would *never* think of talking to someone else. Don’t we all deserve the same love and respect from ourselves that we give to others?

  34. i read this the other night sitting in the parking lot before going into the store. haha, just thought you would like to know. i was on my phone and couldn’t leave a comment because i flipping hate typing on my phone.

    anyway, i loooove love love this. great goal. it is something i should take on myself, i know that. it is hard to admit that i need to work on this but the truth is i do! i need to be nicer to myself. i dont say bad things out loud, but i think them, and it is a bad habit. thanks for being you, and setting a great example for me.

    i love you!

  35. Susan, you are beautiful, inside and out. You are so right – the BIG picture is SO easy to lose sight of (I do it all the time). I know how much those little things can get deep in your psyche, but the truth of it is that you are probably the only one who has even noticed the “toronto ten”. To the rest of us, you are just awesome.

  36. Love this post!

  37. yes, this is exactly what everyone needs in december

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