Letting it all out

When was the last time you cried? I mean, really cried. Wept, sobbed, shook your shoulders and snotted everywhere…

I did that tonight. It’s been too long since I let it all out. Apparently, I had a lot building in me.

I have to be out of my current apartment before my new apartment is available. I’ve hired movers for Saturday who are too expensive to cancel. I work at 5 am both Saturday and Sunday. There is a very real chance I will have to sleep on the futon in the newsroom.

Both my sisters are in the province this weekend with their significant others. I would love nothing more than to be at our beautiful cottage with my beautiful family this weekend.

My dad and his family are going through rough times. I wish I could be there to help them.

For the first September in my life, I will not have plans to return to school. I am working a permanent job indefinitely. This terrifies me.

The last of my friends has moved away. I am left behind in this city, alone.


As of right now, I am looking forward to:

  • going to the gym in the morning
  • Waffle Wednesday
  • reporting on important trials tomorrow
  • getting my new glasses frames on Thursday
  • swimming for the first time since the triathlon
  • my long run on Friday
  • seeing my mom and one of my sisters on Monday
  • joining a new gym
  • starting my new life in a place to call my own

And what’s life without a little flavour?


Savoury oats

  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • 1 cup water
  • pinch salt
  • chopped up breakfast sausage
  • fried egg
  • hot salsa
  • mozzarella


Mahi mahi in a peach sauce. Pan-fried mahi mahi filet in Bragg’s topped with one chopped peach, onions and plum sauce. Brocolli and brussel sprouts with a little Bragg’s for the side.

Also, do not freeze watermelon then thaw it out. It turns slimy and meaty, and can only be saved in a smoothie.


At least it was pretty. 1/2 cup plain yogurt, handful watermelon meat, handful frozen papaya chunks. 


When was the last time you cried? What is stressing you out at the moment? What are you looking forward to?

Thankfully, today is over. I’m going to bed and look forward to the brand new day ahead of me. It will be better. My outlook alone will allow that to happen.

Posted on August 25, 2009, in Lessons Learned and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Hang in there! I think you need a good cry every now and then. I’m not sure of the exact last time I did, but it wasn’t too long ago, I promise that. I hate crying, but I know it’s good to just let it out when life gets overwhelming.

  2. I’m a big believer in crying. I had a great one yesterday–I’m unemployed with piles of student loan debt and will be uninsured in a week, and my fiance works all day at a great job he loves and I’m jealous. It helps just to get it all out.

    Chin up! When things get bad, I just tell myself, “one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.” Big internet hugs!

  3. Crying can be such a great release. I don’t do it often and most of the time when I do, it’s out of frustration not sadness.

  4. A good cry can really help! Sounds like you are pretty overwhelmed and I can’t blame you!

    My last big cry was about a week and half ago. I’ve had mono for the past month, I was getting ready to go on a trip and at the last minute found out my husband wasn’t going…then new lymph nodes swelled up and I just got frustrated and lost it. Felt better after though.

    Right now my big stress is my daughter starting high school! So much potential for trouble…

  5. Aw, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch! A good cry always makes me feel a little bit better. Today’s a new day – I hope it’s much better!

    The last time I cried was when the bestie moved away. I was stressing about work but I’m feeling better about it. I’m looking forward to school starting :)

  6. (((HUGS!)))

    I can’t remember the last time I cried like that. Maybe when I lost my job last year?

    Have no fear, love! It’ll all work out! One night on a futon in the newsroom isn’t the end of the world! More comfortable than the endless nights of sleeping in airports I’ve had, I imagine!

    Chin up!

  7. Awww Susan – sounds like you are feeling a lot of change right now with a lot of things ending, so to speak. A good cry can be a wonderful thing (although the eyes look cruddy the next day!).

    Last time I totally bawled was a few months ago when my kitty passed away.

    Think of the homeless night as an adventure! When we moved to NY, our house closed 3 weeks before our new one, and we lived in temporary housing (read… ick!).

    It will all be over soon enough.

  8. Wow, Susan…a LOT of stress going on. I think crying and letting it all out is GREAT therapy! Plus having stuff to look forward to. I often, in times where I have upcoming horrible stuff, focus on the target (ie, a few weeks from now) when it will all be over. Love your list of things to look forward to :D

    I can’t remember the last time I cried. I usually need a major release every now and again, but have been kind of…numb lately. I am going to make a list of stuff I am looking forward too :D

  9. aweee susan <3 hugs your way, it sounds like things are just going rough for you left and right. i LOVE the fact that you made a list of the bright side, very optimistic of you, you are a smart lady. i know that after you do get moved and into your new place and settled things will be peachy. speaking of peaches, that peach sauce for your fish looks epic, as do the savory oats. hang in there my dear, props to not evenhaving to go to school and landing such a fabulous career, that is something to smile about!

    i almost cried last night at 3 AM when i was dealing with 5 drunk roomies/friends. but that is a story for another day…

  10. Aw Susan! I wish I could give you a big hug!! Sounds like you could use one…and hugs can be so helpful! It sounds like you have a stressful situation going on. I can identify. I’m pretty bogged down with grad school, work, and just plain life. Those good cried are the most needed sometimes; it’s definitely good to have let it out :)

  11. That watermelon smoothie looks great. I have some watermelon from the garden I need to use up, and that sounds like a great idea!

  12. Susan, I’m sorry you had such a rough night! I hope these frustrations have passed by now. I completely understand the feelings you described, especially about wanting to be there for family and not being able to. This time will pass, just remember that.
    Moving is one of THE MOST STRESSFUL things person can go through. Really. I think it’s in the top three with weddings and funerals. You will feel so much better when you get settled in your new place.

  1. Pingback: A Speedy Start to December & A New Set of Goals « The Great Balancing Act

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