I’ve had a lot of requests from people to see the more “funkier” wigs I bought just for fun. Well they finally arrived yesterday!!
I scoured Etsy for weeks with a pink or bright red wig in mind. I couldn’t decide on just one, so I bought two! I figured you can’t put a price on feeling good when chemo makes you look and feel like crap. Plus, they were actually quite cheap compared to my other more natural one.
I love this one! Both the cut and colour of it. It’s a dark purplish-brown with bright red highlights throughout. I want this hair in real life please.
For the pink wig I ended up going with a light honey blonde with light pink streaks, as opposed to an all-out hot pink wig. This one is actually better quality than the red one, you can style it with heat and change the part in it. But it sits a little high on my head. I may have to wait until my hair thins more so I don’t have as much bulk on top.
Loooove the colour combo in this. I was actually planning on putting pink streaks in my real hair before the cancer thing happened. The light blonde will probably look better if I lose my eyebrows too (which are already thinning).
And for those who said I need big spy glasses to go with my spy wigs, already taken care of.
Still working on the trenchcoat and long gloves. Can you guess what I’m being for Halloween this year?
Who said cancer can’t be fun?
Of all the things I expected to get upset over during this whole cancer thing, losing my hair was actually fairly low on the list.
First, let me make it clear that losing my hair was a lot more traumatizing than I ever expected it to be. I have never been attached to my hair, having it every cut and colour under the sun. I was more worried about losing my appetite than my hair (as if my appetite would ever go away, ha).
But there are really no words to describe the feelings that come with that first clump of hair in your hands. In some ways I was happy because it showed the chemo was working. In others it was a punch in the face of “Holyhellthisisreallyhappening.”
There are two ways most women deal with losing their hair on chemo. Some will jump the gun and shave it all off before any more has a chance to fall out. It’s a way to avoid having to pull out clumps or find strands all over the place, and a nice little “eff you” to cancer and chemo.
Another way to deal with it is by massaging the hair out. Working the fingers through the scalp to push the hair out, pulling out as much as they can. This is a lot more natural way to do it, but again, still not a good time.
I got all kinds of recommendations on what to do about the hair situation. Some said shave it right away, others said cut it really short. Even though I waited a month to start chemotherapy, I still felt really unprepared when the first day came. I was overwhelmed by all the suggestions, so I ended up doing nothing about it. I cut my long hair to chin length and left it at that.
Turns out, leaving my hair as is was the best non-decision I’ve made throughout this whole thing.
I was told that my hair could be gone in a matter of days when it first started falling out six weeks ago. I couldn’t bring myself to shave it all off, nor could I let myself pull it all out at once. So I just let my hair do it’s thing, picking strands off my shirts and out of my food the whole way along.
My hair is quite thin now. My bangs are slowly disappearing in the front and I’m always concerned a small breeze will expose the pink skin under the thin layer of hair. But still not bad enough to make people stare. Choosing to just let it be gave me six extra weeks with my hair I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
Pulling strands of my own hair out every day is actually really scary. It’s upsetting. It’s annoying as hell. But I think it’s also given me the time to come to terms with what is happening rather than trying to put an end to it. It’s turned into a time where I say goodbye to my old self a little bit each day. And it’s helped me say hellloooo to the new blonde in town.
Now I just need a trenchcoat to go with my spy wig.
Happyhappy Friday!! Lots of things to look forward to this weekend in these parts.
Speaking of which, I’m now all moved into my dad’s. I haven’t lived with my dad since I was 12 years old. It’s kind of weird being in the same city as my mom and not living with her! With that said though, I think it’s good for me and I’m starting to settle in nicely.
Meet Buddy, the family dog. A boxer-bulmastiff mix who looks ferocious but couldn’t be any farther from it. He’s actually scared of people – including me! Working on getting him to warm up to me and used to having me around.
Apart from Buddy, I’m also living with my little sister, her boyfriend, their newborn son, and of course my dad. Living with a baby actually isn’t that bad when you’re not the one responsible for looking after it…
I’m also living in a room that at one point both little sisters have lived in. It’s hot pink.
After years of living in stark white apartments, I actually don’t mind it much. My furniture is all black so it won’t clash. I just seemed to have lost the box that my IKEA screws were packed in. So pictures of my new bedroom set-up are on hold…
There’s of course my new kitchen:
Wonder what sort of things I’ll create in here!
Ceramic stovetop surrounded by brick. It’s a big and bright kitchen great for taking pictures in. But I will say that bigger kitchens equal more walking around while cooking. It’s tiring!
In other news, I went to the gym today for the first time in SEVEN WEEKS. The first time since my accident! I got the okay from my new physiotherapist here in Moncton for light jogging on the treadmill. She also gave me a ton of active exercises to do with my arm. Before I was only allowed to do passive movement, which means it could only be moved by others, not myself.
I toyed with the idea of starting off with a Couch To 5k style workout. But my mom said “no.” And even though I’m a fitness professional, I still listen to my mom. I’m glad I did! Easing into it was waaaay better.
Here’s the deets if you’re curious:
5 min warm-up walk @ 3.0mph, 1% incline
1 min @ 3.5 mph, 3% incline
1 min@ 3.5 mph, 5% incline
1 min @ 3.5 mph, 7% incline
1 min @ 3.5 mph, 9% incline
–> repeated 5x for a total of 20 minutes
1 min easy @ level 0
1 min hard @ level 5
–> repeated 6x for 12 minutes
3 min cooldown @ level 0
Then a few sets of lying leg raises and side knee drops because I’m terrified of rolling off the ball and effing up my arm more.
Followed by a solid 15 minutes of stretching. I AM SO STIFF. Holymoly. I haven’t spent any time stretching since my accident and it shows. I’m only good at doing it when a workout or yoga class are involved.
Overall, it felt absolutely wonderful to work up a sweat again. Even though it’s considered an easy workout by my old standards, I still got up into my cardio heart rate zone.
A lot of my doctors and physical therapists have told me I’m lucky in terms of arm rehabilitation because I’m a personal trainer. I never really got that because I was so stuck on the idea that my injury is preventing me to work and make money strictly because I am a personal trainer.
I finally got what they meant today though. It’s nice to know exactly what I can, can’t and should do in the gym to keep my body in good healing shape. Having to move halfway across the country right after my accident made life very hectic. I’m happy to finally be at Point B and able to take the time to focus on my healing again.
Oh, and one last thing. Because of the shitty week it’s been, and the need to look nice for a funeral next week, my mom and I treated ourselves to a haircut.
My “before” picture taken earlier this week. Turning my head to avoid the camera ;)
Of all the things I could be frustrated about, being unable to style my hair with one arm ranks at #1. I haven’t cut my hair since August and it’s turned into this unruly mane I have no means of managing.
Problem solved! I went in asking for shorter layers. The same thing I ask every single time I get my haircut. Instead I usually walk out with long chunky layers that only ever look good when straightened. This hairdresser finally gave me what I asked for. The above picture is my new hair air-dried with no product. Just scrunched for a little for bounce. SO much better and easier to manage with my one hand! I know I’m no hair expert, but I do also deal with my hair everyday. So I like to think I know a little something when making requests to hair dressers ;)
Alright. That ends my ramblings for a Friday night. We’re getting a snowstorm in New Brunswick right now. I really wish that was an April Fool’s joke, but it’s not.