A long, hard road

This is something of an “emergency” blog post. That’s why it’s coming to you at an irregular time. That’s why I’m blogging from my iPhone in a hospital bed with two concerned parents next to me, and two sisters in transit to come see me.

Remember that pain in my neck? And how my mother forced me to the doctor? Who then thought it was something with thyroid and ordered a cat scan?

Well, I had that cat scan at 1:30pm today. By 2:15 my family doctor called me and told me to go straight to his office because the cat scan showed a blood clot. My mom picked me up and took me right over. It was there he said the clot was in the main jugular vein in my throat and I was to go straight to the emergency room to get heparin, a blood thinner, and another CT scan to check for more clots.

My family doctor came to the hospital shortly after and made a serious sounding phone call I could only slightly hear. After hanging up, he grabbed a chair so he could sit down when he talked to me. Any suspicions I had that something even more serious was at play were confirmed in moment.

The second CT scan showed a large mass around the main vein that goes into my heart. It’s lymphoma. In other words, cancer.

They’re taking a sample from my chest tomorrow but I won’t get results until next week. The best I can do is hope for Hodgkins Lymphoma, which has a 98% survival rate. Once I get my diagnosis, I’ll start on chemotherapy right away, then radiation.

For now, the number one concern are the blood clots (I also have a few more in my chest). I’m being moved to the cancer ward and will likely be here for a while. My doctor says I have a very long and hard road ahead of me, but for now all I can do is focus on the present. It’s too overwhelming to think of the rest. Through all of this, I know I need to keep my wits, optimism, and sense of humour.

Thank you SO SO much for your friendship and support.

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Posted on June 22, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 335 Comments.

  1. I’m a semi-new reader, but my heart goes out to you. After already facing a hard road with your arm, I know that there are going to be days where you don’t want to fight anymore, but I know you have it in you to beat anything that comes your way. I have learned so much just from reading your posts, and admire you and your strength.

  2. Oh my goodness love. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so so so very sorry. You’ve already been through so much this year. I’m hoping for the best. My former boss has been battling Hodgkin & Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma for years and it hasn’t been easy on anyone but if he has taught me anything it’s that your outlook and spirit really does play a huge role. I’m so glad you are back home and have your family there to support you. I love you. Please let me know if there is anything, anything at all I can do for you. You are always always in my thoughts.

  3. Susan I cried when I read your tweets earlier. This online community will rally around you and help keep your spirits high. There is a lot to take in and I am sure you and your family are in shock. Please know you have my love and prayers.
    xo
    Conny

  4. I am just sick over this, Suze. You know, no matter what, I am here for you, even though I’m far away. So many big huge hugs are coming your way, mentally, right now. (And beer. And Clif peanut butter pretzel Mojo bars.)

    You are so incredibly strong and I am so glad you are back home near family right now.

  5. I am so sorry to hear of the long hard road ahead of you! I am a new follower of your blog but greatly enjoy it and you:) I’m keeping you in my thoughts and offering you all the support and friendship i can. I’m off for summer break (laid off actually due to budget cuts) so am available in any way that might be helpful. Seriously let me know. Writing, baking, sending care packages….
    All the best!!

  6. Susan, I am just so SO sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of thoughts and prayer.

  7. OMG! I am so, so, sorry to hear about this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.

  8. I have read your blog for about 6 months now and always love hearing your thoughts and what is going on in your life. I am praying for you as you go through this. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer in March and it changed my entire life. Having to go through it with your own body, I can only imagine would be so much more difficult. From what I read from your blog, you are a strong person and this is just something that will inspire everyone around you to strive to be a stronger person. You will be in my thoughts and prayers daily.

  9. Susan,
    I don’t think Ive ever commented before – but I read your blog and I have seen you comment on Eden’s blog (where I usually comment). But I want you to know I am praying for you. I work in Pathology and yes, Hodgkins is the best type of lymphoma; but the B cells can be manageble as well. I am praying for you and especially with the blood clot. Thank goodness this was caught in time. Stay strong and you know you have so many people praying for you and willing to do whatever it takes! ]
    Many hugs to you
    Missy

  10. My prayers are with you Susan. If there is anything I can do or you need someone to talk to, please email me. Big hugs.

  11. Wow, just wow. I will be praying for you! This is my first time your blog as I saw some talk on twitter and now my heart just aches for you. Be strong and know that you have a lot of people behind you!

  12. Susan, I just caught up on your tweets about 20 minutes ago and I admit that I cried to my husband. There is never anyone who deserves this kind of thing, but it most certainly isn’t you. I feel it inside of me that this is the “good” kind, you’re going to face the most difficult road of your life, but then you’re going to kick it in the ass and spend the next 80 years inspiring people in an entirely different way. Thank you for sharing this with our community. We will be there for you every step of the way. xoxo

  13. Susan – I just started following your blog on FB. I just wanted to let you know I find you very informative and inspriational in both your work outs and recipes and just general posts. I don’t know what to say, other than I am thinking of you and your family. As others have said, your online friends will rally around you to help you kick this cancer’s a$$.

  14. Susan, I only know you through words and pictures on a website, and I am two seconds away from crying and wanting to jump through the computer monitor and give you one crazy, tight hug. You need to imagine this cyberneighborhood of blog readers gathered around you in a big circle, holding hands, and sending our positive thoughts your way. We are here, we will read, and we will support you whether you feel awesome or 100% like crap. _/\_ peace and love

  15. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe this is happening to you, on top of the injury to your arm. It’s so unfair that you should be put through all of this within six months. Or even within a whole lifetime. But the way you’ve coped with your arm has proven how strong you are, and if there’s anyone who can get through this, I think it’s you. I just wish you didn’t have to.

    There’s probably nothing I can do to help from Toronto, but if there is, you only have to ask.

  16. Susan… oh my gosh…I am so so so sorry. I can’t believe it! This is going to be a rough rough road it’s true but you are one of the strongest and most inspiring people I have ever met. Keep strong, have courage and look to your family and friends to help carry you through. We are all here for you! Remember “the human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. ” My family and I will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts the whole way through. HUGSxx

    Steph and Chris and Eli who always read and encourage you right along with me :)

  17. Thinking of you! It hurts my heart to know your going through this after the extremely tough year you’ve already had. But you’re a fighter! Be strong!

  18. My heart and prayers go out to you.

  19. Oh Susan, I am so sorry to hear this! I don’t even know what to say girl other than do what you can to beat this and know we’re all here for you, every step of the way. *hugs*

  20. Susan, you are in my prayers.
    I’m just in disbelieve over this.
    you are strong, young vibrant woman and you will fight this and win!!
    xoxo

  21. Susan, I cried through this whole post. Just know that I’m here for you 180% and I’ll be the first person to help you pick out an “I’ve kicked cancer’s ass” outfit. You are getting every ounce of my love and positive thoughts right now.

  22. I am sending lots and LOTS of love your way. I’m sure you and your family are all in immense shock right now and trying to process everything…Know that you are an amazingly strong and incredible person, and that we are all keeping you in our thoughts. We are here for you for anything you might need, any time…Keep strong. Love you.

  23. Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family now and through this difficult journey, Susan.

  24. I’ve never commented before, but feel compelled to- my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Know that there is a world of people out here rooting for you.

  25. At a loss of words too…thinking about you and sending love and hugs your way….

  26. Wow, I don’t know what to say. You’re in my prayers (you always are!). I do know that lymphoma is one of the “better” cancers to have – which is a ridiculous thing to say. I say it because about 5 years ago I had a skin lymphoma that the doctors weren’t sure whether it was isolated or had spread. Thus, myself and my parents learned ALOT about lymphoma and about the good outlook for people diagnosed because it was a relatively well understood and treatable cancer (again ridiculous but I’m speaking compared to other cancers). I was fortunate enough to only have an isolated case (after a bunch of tests, a CT, and a bone marrow biopsy), but still am attentive about any possible symptoms and see an oncologist annually.

    Again, my experience does not compare at all to the seriousness of what you are facing, but if you EVER need ANYTHING (even just someone to bitch to) I’m here, via facebook or e-mail. You have been such an inspiration to me these past few years as I’ve followed you via your blog. Stay strong!

    Love,
    Nicole G

  27. Oh my goodness, I don’t even know what to say. You are SO right in saying that you need to keep your wits, optimism, and sense of humour – that’s what will help you through this, as well as knowing you have an endless amount of support from people across the world.

    I’ll be praying for you! Keep your head held high, I’ve been so inspired by your courage and strength with your arm injury and I’m sure you will continue to inspire me – you’re a fighter! :)

  28. Oh my, goodness, Susan, I’m so sorry!! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers right now!

  29. Susan, my heart is aching for you; I’m in disbelief. I’m sending all of my love, hugs and prayers your way right now.

  30. Susan, I love you so much. Deb and I were in tears. Please call or email if you need anything. I’d write more but I’m at a loss for words.

  31. Even though I saw this hours ago on twitter, I still have absolutely no idea what to say other than we will be hoping for the best case for you and we are ALL here for you through this journey. Hugs.

  32. My stomach nearly fell out my butt when I read this post. I can’t believe I suggested a massage for a blood clot, I feel pretty dumb now.
    I don’t comment very often, but I never miss one of your posts, and blogs have a way of making you feel like you know the person behind the computer screen.

    You are an amazing, strong woman, and there are tons of people who will be thinking about you (such as blog creepers like me) and helping you through your journey as much as they can.
    My fingers are crossed for a boring, straightforward surgery and Hodgkins for you, as weird as that sounds.

  33. I can’t even…I just don’t know what to say except you are in my thoughts and how sorry I am. :(

  34. Susan,
    My heart goes out to you! I feel like I haven’t known you for very long but even in these past few weeks, you have inspired me beyond words. I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this but I will pray that this whole thing will only turn into a reason to make you a bigger, stronger and more incredible woman. If you need ANYTHING, I am here always!!!
    <3 XoXo

  35. Whatever we can do, we’re here.

  36. Susan,

    I’m sending all of my strength and fighting vibes your way. The first thing that came to mine when I read this was that you were meant to be home in Moncton and surrounded by your family through all of this. I’m so glad you have a good support system you can lean on.

    Thinking of you and praying for you..
    -Julienne

  37. F*%# Susie…!!! This is so not fair. You are in my prayers my childhood twin. I know we’ve gone our distant ways but if there is anything I can ever do for you, do not hesitate to ask, ok?

  38. Susan, I don’t even know what to say because I rarely comment on blog posts and I’ve never met you, but I feel like I know you well enough after reading your blog for over a year. You always seem to have the ability to turn the negative into positive and you are such a realistic person. You can make it through this, you’ve got us all to support you <3 It may be a tough road ahed but the one taking is much tougher.

  39. Susan, I am gobsmacked to hear this news and thinking of you intensely. I’m so sorry! It warms my heart to hear you say you need to keep your “wits, optimism and sense of humour”. I couldn’t agree more :)
    Family are there with you in body and friends a-plenty are all around you wishing you well. Much love,
    Angharad x

  40. I’m so so sorry! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

  41. Julie Griffiths

    Thinking of you at this difficult time… Sending positive vibes!

  42. Oh my goodness…. like all the others above, I don’t know what to say, other than that I know you’re a strong, amazing, all-around fabulous woman and I know you can do this. I know I haven’t been commenting often but I’ve been reading every single post since your accident and I never thought this would come next. You can be sure that I’ll be sending MASSIVE prayers to the Man upstairs for you. Lots of hugs and good luck coming your way! xo :)

  43. I have only commented a few times but I have been reading your blog since Trying for Tri, and I feel like I know you like a real life friend, so I was stunned to read this. This is an awful thing to happen and you deserve exactly the opposite kind of luck ! I’m sure this will end being a positive experience and come out the other end of the “road” with flying colors. If anyone can keep it together it’s you! Thank you for sharing with us, you are an amazing and brave person. I’ll be sending good karma your way every day!

  44. I am praying for you, more than you know. Stay strong lady!

  45. Wow, I am so so so sorry to hear this. I’m hoping for the best possible diagnosis that can be treated quickly. You are going to make it though this, you’re tough and you have so many people behind you. Praying for you!

  46. Colleen Gibney

    My prayers are with you. It’s so very unfair.

  47. Susan,

    I am a friend of your sister’s from university – I became a fan of your breakfast cookies (they are fantastic) when I was training to run a 10 km and you were preparing for a triathalon and sharing all your delicious meals through your blog.

    I am very sad to hear this news (through your sister) and even though we have only crossed paths once, I want to let you know that I am thinking of you and sending my positive energy your way, along with all the others who have posted. I hope your “long hard road” will be bearable and that you return to complete health.

    My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.
    Meagan

  48. praying for you……

  49. No words can really express the right thing to say….much love and strenghth to you and your family.

  50. I can’t believe I am reading this. I have been following your tweets and I can only pray for you. You have amazing support from your family. I know this is a scary time for you but you are not alone. Take everything in stride and I know you will come out victorious in the end. I know you won’t be able to tweet much, but I will be thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

    Stay strong.

  51. Susan, I never know what to say in these situations (especially via my keyboard!), but here goes. Like all your readers, I also love your blog and the vibrant energy that you transfer so well from life to screen. I honestly believe that a positive outlook makes a big difference on one’s overall health, and by reading your blog over these past few months it’s obvious that you know how to smile even when the world doesn’t seem to want you to. I’m sure this quality will help you in the next little while. Thinking of you!

  52. I am so sorry to hear this. That is a heck of a lot to process. I am glad you have family right there with you, helping you through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  53. Hi Susie. This is Aunt Jane. Sarah just called. Good God. We’re so sorry you have this new nasty road to walk. Ellen and I are trying to think what we can offer. We’ll keep tabs on you to learn when and if you could use a visit from our end. In the meantime we’ll send a couple of books we wished we had known about earlier in Bob’s journey. Yes – staying as cool as possible – keeping that brain working for you. Dealing with immediate concerns. Keeping in control. Our love and best wishes. Later Dudette

  54. OH Susan…I know there are no words that I can type to make you feel better, but know that we are all here thinking about you and wishing you all the best and support we possibly can through the interwebs. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for you, but you are so strong, and you will conquer it!

  55. I cried when I read this Susan. Sending you best strength thoughts. I am so glad you are with your family right now.

  56. I pretty much never comment but I’ve been following your blog for a while. I am so sorry about your news. My husband has had cancer three times. Luckily it was always caught early but every time we got the news it was like being hit by a dump truck and then getting run over by a parade. You have a wonderful personality and a family who is very supportive which will help you immensely in the whole process. This might sound crazy but feel free to get angry or mopey. People will probably tell you over and over again “think positively! Cheer up!”. When you’re sick sometimes you can get really angry at the situation or really down and you know what? It is completely normal not to be cheerful all the time. Deal with it your own way and those closest to you will understand.

  57. I am sending hugs and prayers! Wishing you all the best

  58. Oh, Susan! I am crossing my fingers and my prayers go out to you! Hoping for the best of possible diagnoses.

  59. I read your twitter and and thought this is so very unfair. No one deserves this but for it to be happening to someone like you, I just dont understand the world sometimes. It’s been said how strong you are, It’s certainly true. You could have given up a fitness lifestyle after your injury, but no you wanted to run, you wanted to face the pain & tell it to get stuffed. I believe you can do the same here.

    I wont ask what I can do, but I would love to send you some tim-tams :) You’re so far away and I’ve never met nor talked to you, but sending love and hugs.

  60. Susan, I am so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

  61. Susan, my heart is with you. I’m not sure what to say other than you have my utmost support (as well as this enormous community’s support). I’m thinking of you. Stay strong.

  62. I’ve never left a comment on your blog before but I have admired you from afar (aka my Google Reader) with each and every post. I am so sorry for this news, but please know that you have an incredible support system right here sending the very best of thoughts and hopes to you and your family.

  63. I am so sorry to hear this, you are definitely in my prayers! Be strong–you have a fighter within you!

  64. I don’t comment often, but I’ve been reading for well over a year… I’m so sorry to hear this. You are definitely in our thoughts and prayers. We’re all here to support you and do whatever we can to help you keep your optimism and strength of spirit! I hope you are able to get some rest tonight and that the biopsy goes smoothly tomorrow.

  65. Oh my god. I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I love it and wish only the best for you. I don’t even know what to say, but I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. You are incredibly brave to share all of this.

  66. I’ve been reading for a long time and have never commented. Please accept my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. I know you have the strength for what is ahead!

  67. Oh my God Susan. I know that we have never met but I cried when I read this. I just want you to know that through all of this my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are strong, both mentally and physically, and I know your optimism will shine through.

  68. I am so glad that you’re home and have the support of your family through all of this. I’m not much for prayer, but I will definitely have you in my thoughts. xo

  69. Oh my god. I am so sorry and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  70. Oh my god Susan… I don’t even know what to say :( I’m so, so sorry, you’re such an amazing person and it’s so terrible watching you go through everything with your arm and then this. I’ll be thinking about you and your family and hope for the absolute best… <3

  71. Susan, I really am sorry to read your news. I truly couldn’t believe it at first. I just told my husband Marc all about you and how much I enjoy your honesty through life’s ups and downs. Know that you are a strong and powerful person. You can beat this and will beat this. Keep your family close. Trust yourself.
    Sending you all the powerful healing vibes I can.
    vicki

  72. You can do this. We’re all here for you

  73. It broke my heart to read your news on Twitter. I’ve been in shock ever since. It’s so hard to grasp the “why” and “how” when someone so young and healthy gets cancer. My hope is that the doctor visit tomorrow gives you GOOD news!

  74. I am so sorry to hear about all this happening so quickly. I believe you to be such a strong and wonderful woman who will pull through anything that comes in her way. I wish you the very best with the news tomorrow!

  75. Words escape me… sending positive thoughts your way.

  76. Hi Susan, I saw your tweets from before, and have to honestly admit I think this only my second or third time to your blog. I am so so sorry to hear this. I work on an Oncology floor that specializes in Leukemia, Lymphoma and Bone Marrow Transplants. I see people go through this day in and day out. You seem like an extremely strong and optimistic person with a wonderful support system, my BEST advice to you is to keep a good attitude. It seems cliche I know, but trust me when I tell you it makes a HUGE impact on your overall experience and getting better. God Bless, and know you are in many peoples thoughts and prayers <3

  77. Sending you lots of hugs and much love (wish I could do more…)!
    As you say, you will be facing some more tough times…but we know you can do this.
    If anyone can fight this, Susan, you can.
    We’re all rooting for you. <3

  78. It has all been said, but you truly are an amazingly strong and inspiring woman and I’m so sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you as you face such a gut wrenching experience, but you WILL kick this cancer’s @$$!! STAY STRONG!!

  79. My prayers are with you and your family!

  80. You are in my prayers!! Keep your positive thoughts!!

  81. I am SO sorry to hear this!!!! You are completely and utterly within my thoughts. I am sending positive vibes your way.

  82. Yikes! I am praying for you :)

  83. I’m so sorry sweetie! It breaks my heart that you’ve been through so much already in the last year and now more bad news. I’ll be sending many positive vibes,thoughts, and prayers your way. *BIG hugs*

  84. I am fairly new to your blog but this really struck me; thinking good thoughts for you. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.
    <3
    n

  85. Wow, this is absolutely incredible. I cannot imagine. I will keep my post comment short since I’m not the best at these things – but I wanted to know that you are completely in my thoughts, and I’m sending my love. xo.

  86. Susan, I am in disbelief that this is happening to you. You are in my thoughts and I hope that everything goes well. You are so strong–you can definitely fight through this!

  87. Oh Susan. I am so so sad for you, I can hardly believe this is happening after all you have been through in the last few months. I am praying hard for you. You’re a strong, positive person and I know you’ll pull through. You have SO MANY people rallying behind you. XO

  88. Susan- you know my history with lymphoma in my family- you might not know that my aunt also has it (my Dad’s sister)…she’s doing great and is totally in the clear after some chemo that was pretty tolerable. This is what I want for you- the best case scenario. Seriously after I burst into tears upon reading your tweet, I was just in shock, as I’m sure are you.

    I’m not going to say “if there’s anything I can do to help you, let me know” because I read your post last week and I know you’re not gonna call me and say, “yeah I’m having a craving for some bacon croissants and can you pick up my dry cleaning”…but I have a sick pit in my stomach and I’ve been just ‘off’ because I’m worried sick about you and questioning the whole fairness of it all- first the elbow and now this.

    I do know that you are very strong, and as one commenter mentioned, outlook has a huge effect on peoples’ ability to get better. I know that my Dad’s strength and will to live helped him live far beyond his prognosis. And I believe that you are that same sort of strong and life-loving person as well.

    Huge hugs from here. I’m not the praying type, but tonight, I certainly will.

    • Thank you Deb! Don’t be surprised if you get a whiny email from me in your inbox. I think it’s really important for me to connect with people who have experience with this sort of thing. I feel awful for my family too, they are worried sick!

  89. Susan, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I can’t believe someone like you has to bear so many hardships. Crossing my fingers that the result will be the best possible one. I don’t know how much pain you are suffering, but you have almost always appeared positive and inspiring to me. Now I am sending you hugs and prayers from Japan. I am sure you can conquer it!

  90. I’m at a loss for words. I’m very sorry and sad to hear this unfortunate news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you as well.

  91. After everything you’ve already been through, this is just beyond belief. I agree with the other comments that you are strong and will get through this but for the times that you are weak, of which there will be plenty, I am sending love and positivity and all of the best well wishes.

  92. Susan, I was so sad to hear your news. I sense you have the strength and courage to show this impostor truly who’s the boss and hope you will be able to draw on all the positive energy of this large amazing community to help you every step of the way along the journey ahead.

  93. I literally just yelled, “What?!” outloud in my house and it’s pretty late here. Immediately adding you to my prayers! One of my best friends was diagnosed with lymphoma five years ago. She underwent surgery and chemo and has been in remission for almost four years now. She is stronger, more beautiful and braver than ever and you are too! I look forward to hearing about how you are winning this battle.

  94. It hurt my heart to read this. Many people don’t know it, but my husband is a cancer survivor. Never give up, no matter what the diagnosis. I will be praying for you daily!

  95. Susan, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. My heart goes out to you. I’m glad that you’re with your family and getting all the love and support that you need. *hugs*

  96. Ive been praying since I saw your tweet yesterday. xo xo Carla

  97. i just got chills, and I want you to know that I am thinking about you. Stay positive, be strong and of course you WILL get through this.

  98. My best friend had lymphoma. She beat it ten years ago, is healthy today, and I am praying the same for you. My thoughts are with you!

  99. You are in my thoughts and prayers, stay positive, you are an amazing person!

  100. Susan, im so so sorry to hear your news, i had to reread this post as i couldnt beleive what i had read. You are in my thoughts and prayers…Stay as positive as you can and alwyas remember you have a chance at beating this cancer, your a fighter!! We are all behind you!!

  101. sending you all my positive thoughts and love, if anyone can get through this its you, be strong

  102. susan i am just a reader but I feel so much for you. My mum had breast cancer 5 years ago, she beat it and has been in remission ever since. I am praying the same will happen for you. stay strong, everyone is thinking of you
    edwina

  103. I’m so sorry to hear of your news, Susan. I’m sending prayers and healing vibes your way.

  104. Hi Susan, I’ve only been reading your blog for a short time, but I just wanted to offer some kind words and encouragement. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but as others have said, there’s a community of readers sending as many good vibes your way as we can.

  105. I don’t really have words. I am thinking of you. I KNOW you can do this!!

  106. We haven’t known each other long Susan but I’m sure I can say this for everyone at work: We’re thinking of you and wishing you all the strength in the world with this unfair situation.

  107. OMG. Susan I am so so sorry you are going through this. I love your blog because I relate to you so much. I am just in shock right now. Please keep your positivity. You WILL get through this and you WILL be okay.

  108. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Stay strong!

  109. Dear Susan,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    I can’t even imagine what you are going through.

    Please feel the strength and love and wishes from all of us
    “strangers”, your readers who feel we know you through your
    beautiful writing and honest approach to your life.I kow we don’t
    really know you,but we are all shedding tears and sending you hugs from afar.

    You have shown us this year that life can be unfair and cruel,and yet you continue
    to radiate a loving and wonderful aura about you. I don’t know where your strength comes from,but it makes me believe that you are a woman who can conquer any uphill climb.Thank god you have such a close and loving family and we are all holding you

    in our thoughts.

    This is just not right and I truly believe you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you Susan.I believe your mum has saved your life-blessings to you always!

  110. Susan, you are in my thoughts and my heart. Please take care and find comfort and love in your family and your beautiful strength during this time. Yes, it is a long, hard road. You have my full support!

  111. PS And don’t EVER feel you have to act strong when you need to bawl
    or release all your stress and worries….your honestly is what draws me to you
    and I hope your blog gives you some relief and never makes you feel you have to “act strong”.
    (It is obvious you are strong-we all have seen that already this year.No need to prove that ever!!)
    May this corner of your life bring you true freedom and never ,ever burden you.
    May we help hold your hands in the toughest of moments and cheer you on in
    the small victories.

  112. Susan,

    I’ve been following your blog for a long time now, since before you were even thinking of moving to Toronto. You’ve always been a source of inspiration for me and I really enjoy reading your words every morning (while I should be working…) I’ve only commented a couple of times, mostly to agree that Sloan is an amazing Canadian band. But I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you here in Detroit and praying for you and your family. Stay positive and just keep being the strong person that you’ve always been.

  113. Oh, my god Susan. I don’t know what to say except that I LOVE YOU and am here for you whenever you need me! I’ll keep on reading as much as you keep blogging, I’m always here for your support! Feel free to email me whenever, I’m always here. You are SO STRONG and will make it through this, I just know it. Lots & lots of love (Nick sends his, too!) xoxoxo

  114. That sucks. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re sick. I’ve been reading for a while, but I’m a chronic lurker and haven’t ever commented. You’ll be in my thoughts.

  115. This is so shocking and heartbreaking news. My prayers are for you, your family, friends, and treatment team during this difficult time. You have so much support (even just from this blog). You are young and have the strength to fight and so much to live for! :)

  116. If anyone can survive this, you can Susan. I’ve been reading your blog for around a year now, and I am always stunned by your intelligence, humor, and insight. Your blog is one of the things I look forward to reading each week, and I know that you will be around for me to keep reading it in the future! Take care of yourself. Rest. I know you’ll be okay!

  117. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family! Take things one day at a time and don’t hesitate to reach out for support here.

  118. Oh my God Susan, I’m shocked to hear that! You’re such a beautiful and strong woman, I have no doubt that you’ll make it through this. You’re in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to seeing you recover!

  119. I’m a fairly new reader, but I just wanted to chime in with my vibes/juju/whatever. Here’s hoping for the best prognosis possible, an easy course of treatment and full remission in no time.

    Seriously, cancer sucks.

  120. I’m a newer reader to the blog, like many others, but could not read this post with leaving a note. From all the comments and kind words it is obvious that you are loved and have an amazing support system. Count me as one of your supporters. *HUGS*

  121. This is my first time commenting – I’ve been following you on twitter and reading your blog just recently so I hope you don’t mind this is the first time I’m coming out of “lurk” mode to comment. I just want you to know that we’re all praying for you and sending as much strength and support your way as we (bloggy land!) can. Truly. Stay strong.

  122. Susan, I can’t even imagine all you must be feeling right now. Will send all my best thoughts your way. You are a strong person – I know you will pull through this and I bet you will find yourself even stronger on the other side. Take care.

  123. I came over here today via Morgan’s blog and just wanted to say … I’m praying for you, I’m thinking of you, and I hope everything works out.

  124. Susan, I am speechless right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong, lady! I know you will pull through all of this. You have a very bright future ahead of you! I’m sending you tons and tons of well wishes and positive energy.

  125. Karen Strickland

    Hi Susan,

    At first when I read your post I started to feel sad and admittedly, a little teary. But then, I thought, this is Susan!! You are young, you are strong, and you have always had such a can-do attitude. I know that wont change now. So, I changed my attitude immediately to one of determination. Just like everything else that happens in your life and that you share through blogging – quitting a job in search of a dream, moving to a big new city, embracing your social butterflies to become a blogger/friend extraordinaire, deciding what you REALLY want in life and moving closer to your family – you’ve done it all, girl! You’ve been kicking butt and taking names since I first started reading your blog over a year ago. So, here we go again. Another challenge, but nothing that is too big or too difficult for the likes of you! Of course, you will be in my prayers, but I know that you will come out on top, and I will continue to read and be in awe of your amazing accomplishments! Stay strong :)

    Big Hugs,

    Karen M :)

  126. Hi, I saw Brie Fit’s post about your bad news and clicked over. So sorry for what you’re going through. I hope everything turns out well for you, now that they know what’s going on. I am glad you have such support around you.

  127. Wow, I am at a loss for words. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Susan, you are a strong woman and I know you can win this battle.

  128. Susan, I’m rooting for you..if anyone is strong enough to deal with the huge amount of medical problems thrown their way, it’s you. I know you’ll come out of this even stronger than you were before. Tons of prayers and love sent your way from Chicago….

  129. Best of luck, Susan, and thanks for keeping everyone so updated. You’ve got such a crazy strong support system on here! I am just so glad you left Toronto when you did and that you’re with your family through all this. And thank goodness for moms who schedule doc’s appointments even when we don’t think we need them, eh?

    Love.

  130. Although I only recently started following your blog, I still feel like I have gotten to know you. Your blog has given me motivation, inspiration, health tips that have now become routine in my life and of course, great things to try in the kitchen. I remember thinking when I read about the pain in your neck, that it was strange it persisted for as long as it did. I never would have imagined it was as serious as what the doctors found. It is lucky that they caught it now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay positive and strong, and like you said focus on today, this moment, because that’s all ANY of us really have.

    -Emily Morelli (All the way from Southern California)

  131. I know this is just one comment from one reader among hundreds of comments from hundreds of readers, but I wanted to let you know I’ve had you added to a pretty powerful prayer chain (nuns who drink wine, have little dogs and occasionally swear, so you know they’re legit.)

    You can pull through–no questions asked.

  132. I am keeping you in my thoughts..sending you healthy, loving vibes.

  133. Susan,

    It is with a very heavy heart that I read this post. The initial shock of a cancer diagnosis is one of the hardest things one can go through. I don’t know you personally, but I’ve been reading your blog for a while and have commented in the past.

    As a cancer survivor of 6 years, I am here to offer you support throughout this difficult process. Trust in your doctors, and ask them a lot of questions. Have you been in contact with the Canadian Cancer Society? They are an amazing, and supportive organization and I don’t know what I would have done without them during my surgeries, treatment and remission.

    You are strong, and you are going to beat this! If you need someone to talk to, I would love to chat with you.

  134. Susan: I’ve been following your story for a while but have never posted before. But I wanted you to know about all of the support and thoughts you have coming to you as you battle through this. You are an incredibly strong woman for sharing everything with us, thank you for being such an inspiration. I look forward to hearing about your recovery!

  135. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and keep your positive attitude. It will really help in the days to come!

    Liza

  136. Stay positive and optimistic. You can get through this. You are a fighter.

  137. Just linked over to you from BrieFit and wanted to add my support, for what it’s worth.

  138. I’m so sorry, Susan. It’s been quite a year for you.

    You’re in my prayers, and the prayers of many others. And you know what? You’re young and resilient, and you’ve got every chance to fight this. It’s terrifying and uncertain, but that’s the way life tends to operate – in 24 hours, nothing is promised. You can and WILL beat this!

  139. I dont even know what to say. Following along on twitter yesterday was shocking and I may have actually shed a tear or two for you.

    All I can say is that I’m sending as many happy and healing thoughts your way as I can.

  140. New to your blog but also felt compelled to comment. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. From what I have read about you, you are strong so keep the faith. Hugs!

  141. I’m a blogger, a writer and a producer. It’s my job to come up with the right words and I’m at a freaking loss. The best I can come up with is F CANCER. And please stay strong. I know you will be OK, and I hope you feel the love of your blogging and social media friends.

  142. Susan, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Sending you buckets of love right now. The whole blog community is thinking about you, sending you love and healing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  143. Sending you lots of love and healing vibes.

  144. My heart goes out to you and you have the family, community and attitude to get thru this. Sending positive thoughts your way!

  145. My heart goes out to you and your family. What a terrible ordeal to have to go through. But from reading your blog over the past several months I feels certain that your as strong and as ready to fight as anyone. I’ll be thinking of you.

  146. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Try to focus on getting through one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Cancer is so overwhelming. Sending you lots of strength!

  147. Praying for you.

  148. I came over from Brie’s blog and I am so sorry to hear this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  149. My heart goes out to you and your family and I’m keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

    *Sending you hugs, strength, and positive thoughts*

  150. thebeautynotebooks

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, Susan. Your determination is fierce. Keep on living and loving. You can and will beat this, and we will support you all the way!

  151. I don’t know you and I’ve never read your blog until today, but I’m crying as I’m reading your most recent posts. I will be thinking of you for days now, and I’m subscribing to your posts to send all of the positive energy I have to you.

    PS: You are gorgeous!! Keep glowing!! Lots of love from Michigan.

  152. Susie,
    I’ve recently started reading your blog posts and have found them inspiring. I’ve been meaning to comment and let you know that I love reading your entries. I am sending you loads of positive energy and a virtual hug or two. My thoughts are with you.
    With Love,
    Anya

  153. I have never read your blog before but saw a tweet and came here. My heart goes out to you! I pray you have the strength, will and perseverance to conquer this. I can’t say I have had experience with cancer but I have had immediate hospitalization from multiple blood clots in my lungs. It was such a scary experience but I can’t imagine also discovering cancer. Looks like you have a lot of support and I hope you draw a lot of strength from it.

  154. Susan, this is only my second visit to your blog, but I’m thinking of you. I’m glad for you that they caught it. My dad was diagnosed with stage IV cancer last year and it was extremely difficult. A positive outlook and all this support can only help, and you have tons of good energy coming your way.

  155. Susan, I can’t believe this. I just don’t know what to say. My gosh, look at all your comments, what a girl you are. So many have got you in support. Prayers to you and your family. Be strong, like I know you are.

  156. Angel I am so sorry and my heart goes to you. You are in my thoughts and you are wonderful strong woman and I am sending all my love and cuddles. Know we are all here xxxx

  157. Susan, I never comment (except for one about butternut squash fries) because I, myself, am not currently an avid blogger. That said, I have been reading your blog since you were over at Trying for a Tri when we were both training for our first. I feel like you are a friend I’ve never met. Sending my prayers and thoughts from Philadelphia.

  158. Susan, I’m reading this at work, and am literally crying at my desk. My thoughts and my prayers are with you. I’ll be praying that it’s the best situation it can be. You are so strong.

  159. Susan, you’ve touched my life in such a positive way and have no idea of it. All the good energy you put out into the world will come pack to you , I’m positive of it. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  160. I have never commented here before, but have been a regular reader of your blog for a year or so now. Your personal journey has so far resonated with my own in many ways, and I am so sorry to hear about this latest bump in your road. I wish you all the best as you tackle this challenge head on and I firmly believe that you will fight through this. You are a strong woman. You can do this. You’re in my thoughts.

  161. I linked to your post via Morgan’s blog. Morgan is a friend of my sister. I was struck immediately by your post. I very recently had a personal experience with blood clots. Two weeks after having my second baby I was admitted to hospital with blood clots in my bowel and lungs. My thoughts are with you as you navigate the path before you. Trust in yourself, your doctors and your family.

  162. Fuck cancer. There, I said it. Seriously, why does it have to always get in the way of things?! I am turning my calendar back to January and keeping it there so I can stare at your sweet leotard. Creepy? Maybe. Thinking of you 24/7. Creepy? For sure. I love you.

  163. I’ve been reading for awhile but haven’t commented much. My heart is just breaking for you, but I know from reading your blog that you are a strong woman and will beat this. You’re in my prayers, and if there is ever anything I can do.. I’m only a couple hours away.(And yes, I did read your post the other day, but I mean it!)

  164. I am so, so sorry Susan! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I also second the other commenters’ suggestion to make use of the services offered by the Canadian Cancer Society. They offer lots of help, including counselling services, which, in my experience, was really helpful.
    You continue to inspire me with your positive attitude and strength!

  165. Susan, I have only been a reader for a short time and never commented. From what I have read on your blog, you have an amazing outlook on life. You have a beautiful way with words that is simply inspirational. Also, I love your photography. Keep the amazing attitude – it will help you kick cancer’s ass. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  166. Oh my god Susan! I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a strong and beautiful woman. I will be thinking of you and your struggle. Keep strong, stay positive and always smile! Sending you virtual hugs. xoxo Katie :)

  167. I am so, so sorry. This is such a hard blow to be dealt, especially when you’re still so young. My heart goes out to you, my prayers are with you, and know that all of us are thinking about you in this trying time. Your attitude is awe-inspiring considering what you’re going through right now, and I am so impressed with your ability to keep your head held high. We are all with you in this.

  168. Wow, I cannot even imagine getting this news. Know that I am praying for you!

  169. I will get down on my knees and pray.

  170. Susan… I know my words can’t console you right now, but I am truly keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Someone said it above, but I will say it again, FUCK CANCER.

  171. Susan,

    I wish there was something I could say or do to take away this pain, fear, question, etc from you. Instead I can only pray for peace for your heart and mind, strength for your body to overcome this, and guidance for the doctors/nurses on your care and treatment. Love you…

  172. I’ve been reading your blog for about 7 months now and I believe this is my first time commenting. Even though we’ve never met and that you don’t know me (though I kind of feel like I know part of you from your blog) I send my prayers to you. There’s no point in saying “it will be easy” or “it will get better!” because that’s probably not what you want to hear right now. So all I’m going to say is that I’m praying for you and you have a lot of people in the blogland that care about you too.

  173. Oh, Susan. My hear goes out to you- I don’t even know what to say. I followed your tweets yesterday and have had this post open since I got up 12 hrs ago… I am just at a loss for words. Life just doesn’t make sense. I am angry at the sheer injustice of it all and the hell you have been through already- I will be thinking of you and I KNOW you won’t email and vent or ask for support or a listening ear, but know it’s there and if you want a phonecall and a lighthearted giggle and eh/aye debate and you can teach me about beer or if you want to scream down the phone at me…let me know. Lots of love coming at you- damn postal strike won’t stop that ;) xxx

  174. Susan – I’ve been reading, since, um, the beginning (?) … and even though I almost never ever comment, obviously I’m out of hiding for this. There isn’t anything I can say or do to make you feel better, I’m sure, but just know we’re all out here rooting for you! Keep on keepin on, is my motto!

  175. In my thoughts and prayers. There are so many success, survival stories and you will be one more to the list!

  176. I have been reading your blog for a while, but I have never commented. I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your writing, and my thoughts and prayers are with you!

  177. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for your recovery. Hang in there buddy.

  178. My heart goes out to you and your family. I met your sister Sara at summer camp, oh so many years ago. Now I’m a resident physician in medicine in NYC. Stay strong. I will be thinking about you and sending good wishes your way. Fei Li Kuang

  179. I am new to your blog via Brie’s blog and felt the need to stop by and offer my support and encouragement. So here goes: A person’s true nature is revealed at times of the greatest adversity. You have to think positive. You are young and healthy and it sounds like they caught this early which puts you at an advantage. Stay positive and you will beat this. God bless you and your family.

  180. We are all here for you! Hang in there! We are all thinking of you and your family!

  181. Susan – thinking of you and sending all good wishes. Much progress has been made in oncology research and treatment that today cancer is a chronic disease not an automatic death sentence. So take courage, revel in the love and support of your family, and make the choices that suit you best as you walk this journey. You have a great circle of friends far and wide all sending positive energy your way.

    • “cancer is a chronic disease not an automatic death sentence”

      You have no idea how often I’ve been saying this to myself over and over!! Same goes with radiation and chemotherapy. They’re not as harsh as they used to be, and the side effects aren’t as bad. Most people I know only experienced bearable nausea and a slight thinning of the hair. Oddly enough, I’m the most worried about losing weight during treatment! (go figure)

  182. I’m so so sorry to hear about this. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

  183. Susan, I’m so sorry to hear about this news. Stay strong – you’ll kick this cancer in the ass. Do know that you are covered in prayer during this time.

  184. Hi, I am a Lymphoma Survivor and I wanted to reach out and tell you that no matter what, you will get through this. It seems you have a tight support system already, but if I can help, I’m here kelocity @ gmail dot com.

  185. Im so so sorry to hear this, you will be in my thoughts ans prayers

  186. Long time reader but rare commenter- just had to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your family. Saying a little prayer xxx

  187. I will say many prayers for you. You seem like such a sweet and caring person, someone who doesn’t deserve to go through such hardships. Remember that even if a doctor gives you bad news there is always hope. My cousin was told she had stage 4 stomach cancer and little chance at survival. With a strong heart and good spirits, it’s been 5yrs and she is again healthy. Hang in there and take each day at a time.

  188. Susan, I am so sad to hear this about you. What a tough year! No sugar coating, I’d be thinking it was out of a nightmare. Thinking about you, I know you will get through this one too. And have quite a story to tell about the year 2011…

  189. Oh my God. Usually, I don’t take my Lord’s Name in vain… but oh my God. Susan, I’m so sorry. This is unbelievable and such an unfair thing to happen to a great person like you. But if you’ve done one thing, its prove that you’re a fighter who can do anything she sets her mind to. I know I’m not a good friend and that you don’t even know who I am–I don’t expect you to, you should focus on you and your loved ones right now–but I want to let you know that I know you will get through this. I’m praying for you.

  190. Susan,

    I have been reading your blog for such a long time, i rarely comment but it is one of the best ones out there. (i.e. every Wednesday my boyfriend asks ‘what kind of waffles this week?’)

    I am so sad for you, I wish you a speedy recovery. You are in my prayers. I know you will recover, you are so young and healthy, and I can see such a bright life force in you.

    Jen

  191. You don’t know me, I’m brand new to your blog (via Brie). I just want to say good luck! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

  192. I am so sorry to hear this news. Try your best to keep your chin up. I’m glad to hear that your family is there with you to support you through all of this. We will all keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.

  193. Hang in there little bear! You’re in my thoughts and prayers <3

  194. Susan….I.cannot even imagine…I know there is nothing we can say or do to make it better. Please know you are in our thoughts and we are hoping for the best possible outcome. You are so strong willed I have no doubt you can beat this. Please let us know if there is anything at all we.can do to help out/you/your family.

    Love you…xoxo,

    Danica and Jay

  195. Hi there, I’ve been a big fan of your blog but never commented so far, you seem so down to earth and I agree with your philosophy about “healthy living” – I believe life is much more than focusing about eating raw or being vegan or completely organic. I am really sorry to hear about your lymphoma, I’m a junior doctor working in Oncology at the moment and am familiar with the hard road in front of you. I really hope that treatment goes well for you. Try and keep positive, you have a lot of support behind you by the looks of things.

  196. I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

  197. I’m a first time reader and poster – but I’m totally thinking and praying for you. I HATE cancer. My husband survived testicular cancer between our oldest and youngest children – it was a beast. BUT it can be beaten. I’ll check back. (((HUGS)))

  198. Susan,
    Seriously praying for you right now and will be throughout all of this-for strength and peace for you and your family, wisdom for the doctors, and healing with a quick recovery.

  199. praying for you <3

  200. Susan, I’m a new reader but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you’re going through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay positive – we are all thinking of you!!

  201. I don’t even know what to say here except you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

    If there’s ANYTHING I can do to help, let me know! I have friends and family members that are dealing with or have dealt with cancer and if you want or need someone to talk to, I can be here for you to talk to or even introduce you to them and talk to someone who’s been through this.

    Keep your chin up, slugger!

  202. Everyone at Shift rooting for you Susan. Take care. We want you back! :(

  203. Susan, I was shocked as I read through your post – I felt like I was reading about someone else – not someone I feel like I know. Does than make any sense?

    Oh, how I wished I lived closer. I’d show up with dinner in hand ready to do your laundry and whatever else you need done right now.

    I am thinking of you like crazy. Much love to you my friend – it’s going to be okay.

    • I know exactly what you mean. When the doctor told me I had a mass in my chest, I was just like “Whose life is this?? Cause it sure ain’t mine.”

      And I could certainly go for some oaties and cornbread right now ;)

  204. You are in my prayers Susan! Stay strong.

  205. Janetha’s right – fuck cancer. My dad was just given similar news last week and it’s really all u can do to keep your head on straight. Positivity wins every time and I know you have it in you to beat this. Keep your chin up, we’re all here to support you through this.

  206. Im new to your blog and so sorry to have arrived at this time, but will send positive thoughts and supportive words your way
    Dawn

  207. sorry to hear the news, stay strong xo

  208. OMG.. Susan….my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

  209. oh my gosh praying for you.

    you will get through this!

  210. I too am new to your blog but I’m tearing up just thinking of your ideal. You are in my thoughts and I’m sending good vibes your way.

  211. i’m a newbie to commenting…but…

    yikes! i got seriously so scared while reading this. because how many times do we all let something go, unseen and untreated by a doctor? for me, always.

    and here you are-just going about your life-and WHAM. to hell with that. no one prepares you for such things. and that just sucks.

    sending many, many, many prayers, hugs and really cool wigs your way. {even if you do get to keep your hair!}

  212. I am so sorry! I will be praying for you!

  213. I will be keeping you in my thoughts!

  214. Thinking of you, and praying for you my friend. I know firsthand the shock of being handed a cancer diagnosis, and I’m here to say that “You WILL be ok.” Even though right now things seem like they will never be ok or normal again, they will be, and I am here 2 1/2 years post-diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer to prove it. Hang in there, my survivor sister. One day at a time. You’ve got this.

  215. Oh Susan, I’m so sorry. Will be thinking of you in this tough time… I know you have all kinds of support to get you through. Stay strong xo

  216. I haven’t commented in awhile, but decided that I needed to here. I’m so sorry you had to hear such difficult news today. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as I go through the next days and weeks. I wish I was there in person to be able to do something to help out, but for now, positive thoughts & prayers will be sent your way

  217. I found you through Tina @ FFF, and I have to tell you that I’m sorry you had to get such yucky, scary news!

    “Blood clots” is a phrase that makes me incredibly nervous. My dad had surgery several weeks ago (prostate cancer–yuck.) and within days of getting out of the hospital we discovered that he had blood clots in his lungs. It was a scary weekend.

    You are absolutely in my thoughts and prayers!

  218. veggiesandvodka

    I’m a long time reader/lurker, this crushed me. BUT, I know you will be amazing and honest through it all! You have so many people here for you, even if you don’t know they exist.

  219. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am thinking of you and know you can get through it.

  220. I will definitely be praying for you continually!

  221. I was directed here by the lovely Janeetha and just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts.

  222. Susan I am SO sorry.

    It has taken me a whole day to tell you how sorry I am – even though we haven’t been as in touch lately, this affected me in a big way, and I wish there was something I could do for you right now (PLEASE let me know if there ever is, anything I can do.)

    I know first hand how tough a serious diagnosis is, and I also know first hand that a positive approach, attitude and outlook make all the difference. Yes, things can bring us down, but I have admired how you have been so positive overall, with your arm and in your last couple posts, now, about this. I cried when I heard this latest news, and now I’m done… I will now keep you in my prayers and thoughts, and I look forward to your strength that will get you through this. <3

  223. You can do this! My heart goes out to you. I have never commented before, but your blog has always been so positive, I know you will be able to do this! I will be praying for you!

  224. Hi there, I’m a new reader. I just wanted to wish you all the best, and lots of love and prayers as you begin your journey to healing from cancer. I’m sorry that you’ve had such a diagnosis. It sucks. But like you say in your next post, and your post on being healthy, it’s time to move forward and redefine what health means to you. I love that you have this persepective, inspiring.

    Lots and lots of love

    (PS I hope that doesn’t sound like a cold comment, I’ve just started on a haem-onc ward for my final nursing placement before being qualified and realise that there’s little one can say in these situations… Ironically, I seem to be saying alot right now!) xxx

  225. Susan,
    I don’t leave comments on your blog, but I’m a long time reader. As a fellow fitness buff, Canadian, Ontario-ian(when you lived in T.O) and east coast fan (I went to university in Sackville, N.B) I relate to much of what you write.

    I’m so sorry to hear about the turn your life has taken. My prayers are with you.

  226. I’m a new reader and wanted to delurk for a to tell you you’ve got a good base of support here on the blog! If you need funny things (have you seen The Bloggess’ new post?! http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/) we’ll try to make you laugh :) Will keep you in my thoughts during this difficult time…

  227. Susan I’m thinking and praying for you. I can’t even imagine what you are going through but I am so glad you have your family there with you. Praying the answers are better than hoped.

  228. Hi Susan! While I’m not a regular reader of your blog – you are most certainly someone I’m aware of in the blogosphere. My thoughts and prayers are with you right now – and your outlook on the situation is going to help you so much! Hang in there, be tough, and know that the whole entire blogging community is behind you, routing for you, cheering you on, knowing you are going to kick cancer’s ass! ((((HUGS)))))

  229. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  230. My heart goes out to you and I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong! :-)

  231. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Amazing how in one quick moment our lives can change. Stay strong we are all behind you.

  232. You have been in my thoughts today. My family recently went through our own sudden and shocking cancer situation and out of the blue, your life changes so much, in the blink of an eye. I’ll be thinking of you and hope that all these vibes from all these wonderful internet buddies help soothe you at times when the world seems way too much to bear.

  233. First time reader. I wish you all the best and will continue to read and keep you in my prayers. You’ve got all of us who believe in you and are here if you need extra support!

  234. No matter what lady, you are going to beat this. Attack it head on! All my best thoughts are with you.

  235. Susan. I had no idea. I will be thinking of you and praying for your safe keeping. xoxo

  236. oh my goodness – thinking and praying for you!

  237. sending love and hugs in this difficult time.

  238. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. My heart absolutely hurts for you and I will be praying for the best possible outcome and diagnosis. Sending a lot of love your way.

  239. Praying for you in thid hard time.

  240. Praying for you! Stay strong you can get through this!

  241. Susan, I can’t even put into words right now what I am feeling. I am so sorry you are going through this right now, and I (along with many, many others) are thinking of you and praying for you.

  242. Praying for you sweetie!

    xo.

  243. Oh Susan this tore the heart right out of my chest. Praying for you and sending you healing thoughts, I wish I could do more. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. x

  244. My thoughts and prayers are with you!! I hope for a peaceful recovery.

  245. So sorry to hear of your diagnosis – if its any help, my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in January of this year, had surgery in early February and is now perfectly well. Yep, it was a long few months, and he’s not 100% yet, but he kicked cancer’s butt and I know you will too – hugs!

  246. My thoughts are with you pretty lady, tears in my eyes as I read this stay strong your a fighter x x x

  247. Yours was the first blog I started reading when I landed in this world of health and fitness, and I can’t beleive I have read what I have read. BEST luck in this hard moments, be possitive. Just as a note, my aunt had cancer as well and when on chemiotherapy she did a macrobiotic diet that helped her a lot, she says she felt much better.

    A huge kiss to Canada.

  248. Bless you my love! Bless you. I worked as a student nurse on the oncology ward and I trust and know that they are some of the most committed staff you can find. Sending our prayers..this is scary scary scary stuff. One day at a time…

  249. My thoughts are with you. All the best with this battle!

  250. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you can connect with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as they are an amazing resource and support system. Again, you are truly in my prayers. Stay strong!

  251. Wow, I came over here after ready Morgan mention you and am stunned.

    Thanks for sharing this personal and honest post. It really brings it home that anyone can get cancer and has inspired me to really live life. I will be hardcore praying for you and your family. You have support in all these people…..

    I hope you keep up so we can keep our prayers specific:) You can rock this.

  252. I’m super-behind on my blog reading – but I saw about your dilemma on Twitter. Hang in there, honey – you’re so incredibly strong, you can absolutely beat this! And you know we’re all here for you – for anything!

  253. Oh my gosh, Susan. I wish you all the best. It’s hard to know what to say in these situations that doesn’t sound trite, but the best I can say is that you are strong and I am sure you will get through this.

  254. I’ve been reading for a long while and just wanted to reach out – I’m really sorry. You’re a strong, brave person and the whole blogging community is sending lots of love your way/

    Hang in there :)

  255. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now, but please know that like so many other readers, I’m hoping and praying for you. I know you have the strength to pull through!

  256. You are in my prayers.

  257. Just figured out what you’ve been tweeting about recently. Holy shit. Are the neck clot and cancer related? Because if not thank god for that damn clot. Thinking positive thoughts and wishing you the best in your recovery.

    • Yes, they are related, but still thank god for the clot! Because the mass surrounds that main vein that goes into my heart, it’s likely to cause a lot of yucky blood troubles. At first when I was told I had a clot on the left side of my neck, we were pretty much positive it had to do with the surgery I had in my left arm. Lymphoma was a complete shock, to put it lightly.

  258. I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.

  259. I don’t know what to say, except, you are in my prayers. xoxo

  260. Wow, I’m so sorry to hear this. But you are strong and will get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  261. So sorry to hear this. But you are STRONG, you can fight this.
    You are in my thoughts & prayers!!
    Much love to you & your family!

  262. Hi Susan, I haven’t attacked my google reader for a few months now, and I am just reading this. I just want to let you know you have my thoughts, sympathy, and support. Hang in there. You are strong, savy, graceful, and you can beat this thing.

  263. I just came across your blog, but I’m sending you good thoughts and prayers!!

  264. Just arrived here from HTP and all I can say is that I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I am amazed by your positive attitude and I pray for you to get through this. I am sending lots of love and good thoughts your way!

    I had a bad blot clotting episode last summer and was in the hospital for a while. I can’t imagine how terrifying it would be to have cancer on top of that. Know that the blog world is here for you and loves you.

  265. Hi, I’m here from Caitlin’s Blog….. I’m sorry that you have to go thru this….my thoughts and prayers are with you. Your blog is in my “favs” now so I can check on you.

    Hugs and prayers <3

  266. Just read about you over on Healthy Tipping Point. I am so sorry to hear you are going through a hard time and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

  267. My heart stops just reading this. I’m 25 as well, active, not always as nutritionally sound as I should be, but I consider myself invincible (I mean, don’t we all, really?). Yea, this opened my eyes. Clearly no matter how healthy you are it can happen to anyone…even more so, its happening to such a great person as you. I pray for you that everything goes the best it possibly can. You are strong and you WILL get through this. The blog community is behind you every step of the way!

  268. My love and support goes to you all the way from Spain!! You’re not alone!!!!!!!!

  269. I have never commented, but I am now! I will be praying very hard for you! Soon, I will be beginning grad school in cancer research, and it’s people like you who give me even more reason/motivation to fight it!

  270. Susan, I don’t even kmow what to say. My heart goes out to you; you are in my prayers!

  271. I just came over from Holly’s blog and read this post.. I’ve never read your blog before but this one post made me tear up a little. I don’t know you or follow you, but just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you. I’m sorry you are dealing with this :(

  272. I’m new to your blog but I wanted to let you know that I am sending prayers your way. Reading your story made my heart pick up speed, sent a chill down my spine, and made my eyes tear up. I lived with that fear and those feeling for the last couple of years when my mom was fighting cancer.

    Stay positive, have faith, eat even if you’re not hungry, and most importatly…FIGHT.

  273. Hi Susan!

    Lots of love and prayers all the way from India. A dear friend is battling the same. Fight it girl! You will!

    Love, Rathi

  274. Susan, I just found your blog today and I wanted you to know you’re in my thoughts. You’ve got lots of positive thoughts sent your way from the blog world. I wish you the best of luck with your fight!

  275. Hi Susan, I read about you on Deb’s blog and wanted to know I was thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for a full recovery. My cousin had Hodgkin’s a couple of years ago and while it was a long road indeed she is healthy and active today. Love from Michelle (formerly A Shade of Gray)

  276. I was just reviewing your posts over the past week or so and I just had to stop and say hello. Your blog posts are so inspiring and you are in such great spirits – which is great! My heart and prayers go out to you and your family/friends. You are an extremely strong woman who is surrounded by many people that love you at home and in the blog community. Keep your head up and stay positive. Keep writing and keep faith. :) Take care, sweetie.

  277. I just stumbled upon your blog via Angela @ Eat, Spin, Run, Repeat but I wish you all the strength in the world as you face this new challenge in your life. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers xx

  278. I know that I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I still feel for you and I am very, very sorry. My heart goes out to you and you will definitely be in my prayers<3

  279. Attitude is a huge part of conquering cancer – and you’ve clearly got the right attitude. Although you’re certainly in a position where you wonder about how long you’ll live, the truth of the matter is that none of us have a clue about that, regardless of how healthy we are, so your focus on just doing what you have to do is spot on! Sending good thoughts your way!

    Also, laughter has healing powers. Perhaps I can offer you a chuckle or two, if you check my blog on what it’s like to be an old American lady learning to live in Berlin and the incredible whimsey I’ve found in this great place – oldamericanladyinberlin.wordpress.com

  280. Am a stranger reader from Vietnam. and I just read your newest blog. I wish you always l<eep your hope unbeaten (as I ..eyboard lost the .. so i fight with l and <). You have such a lovely smile that brightens the page… God bless and bring lucl< to you..

  281. i am a new follower of yours. my thoughts and prayers goes out to you. stay strong ever! “hugs

  282. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you dont struggle to hard with your chemotherapy. I had 6 months worth for AML and have been in remission for 8 years now, I have also had a child since. Life throws us many trials but can also serve up many rewards.
    Kia Kaha ( Stay Strong )

  283. I’m just catching up on my reader and saw a link to this post on Determined To Be Uncensored’s blog.

    I’m 38, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 22, 2010. (Yes, I got chills when I saw the date of this post.) This will be a horribly tough year, but you WILL get through it.

    I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to reach out at citygirlblogs (@) gmail.

  284. Congratulations on your recovery! I wish you all the best!

  285. Glad your getting better. Have you thought of getting a second opinion from someone other then a md?

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